Divorce really sucks (a view from the trenches) Part 1

"Psychological Impact Of Marital Dissolution On The Nuclear Family" or "How does divorce make you feel"? or

Part 1: Divorce really sucks (a view from the trenches)!

Make no mistake, there are always two divorces. There is legal divorce, and there is emotional divorce. Although inextricably intertwined, they are distinct and separate with their own life and death, each fueling and affecting the other.

Aside from the loss of a spouse, child or parent to death, it has been said that divorce is the most egregious, emotionally dehabilitating experience a man or woman may have in a lifetime. The grief to each spouse, regardless of fault or equities, is very real, personal, deep and frequently damaging.

Aside from dispute resolution and collaborative law possibilities, which generally may apply to some people, the judicial adversary system is perhaps the most misplaced, illogical and painful method one might devise to dissolve a bond as culturally significant and historically necessary as the marital compact. Regrettably, it is what we have today to resolve marital conflicts.

The legal marriage is formed either by statute or common law. Statutorily one may secure their priest, Rabbi, or other authorized person to join the parties in union by purchasing a marriage license, taking a blood test and going through the formal procedures and ceremony.

Additionally, you may, under statute, marry by filing forms with the state signifying the union. In Texas, flowing from the Mexican/Spanish influence on our statutes and the large distances between cities, the time and effort necessary to find a preacher in days gone by, two parties may marry by common law agreement. Such a marriage is binding upon agreement of the parties to be married (irrevocable present agreement), cohabitating together, and holding themselves out to the public as man and wife ratifying the relationship.

Regardless of which of the three procedures one takes to become married, once accomplished it is binding and can only be dissolved by divorce. Divorce means lawyers, the adversary system, the frequent unnecessary involvement of the children in the procedure, and significant grief.
It has been shown to be very constructive, useful, and therapeutic to entertain marriage counseling and/or divorce counseling prior to, during, and following a divorce procedure. There is no question that securing the services of a quality counselor, properly qualified to assist a husband and wife going through divorce, yields long-term benefits and faster recovery time, though the counseling often leads to serious emotional disruption and further pain before recognizing therapeutic results.

Once married, the divorce rate is over 50%. 95% of the population is married by age 55 versus 72% in 1970. The general life expectancy of a marriage is approximately 7 years, 8 months for the first marriage, and 7 years, 4 months for the second marriage.

The relative costs and expense in dissolving the marital relationship is directly proportional to the acceptance and the decision to divorce emotionally which can occur days, weeks, months, or years prior to the time you meet your attorney to commence the divorce proceeding, or never at all.

The Nacol Law Firm PC
Attorney Mark Nacol
Serves clients in the Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex area
Tel: 972-690-3333

Parent Alienation in Divorce

In recent years, “parent alienation” has become more prevalent in divorce cases. Parent alienation is the dramatic change in the relationship between a parent and their child when the child is used as a tool by one parent to hurt the other parent. Parent alienation can include much more than brainwashing of a child. In many cases, the child becomes hostile towards the alienated parent as they are fed not just conscious, but subconscious and unconscious, messages by the alienating parent. Frequently, the child will turn on the parent they previously loved and were very close to prior to the institution of the divorce proceeding. In some cases, the alienating parent will go to extreme lengths to keep the alienated parent from seeing the child for long periods of time. Children begin acting out and the situation quickly becomes volatile.

When children are used in such a manner, emotions are quickly aroused and a very simple divorce case can quickly become a highly contested case fueled by resentment and hostility.

Parents who are successful in getting primary custody of a child in a parent alienation situation share many similar characteristics and may use some of the following tools to assist them in their defense:

1. Keep an even-temper, remain logical and keep your emotions under control. Never retaliate.

2. Though you may think of giving up, never do so.

3. Go to the financial expense of seeing the case through. Never give up on your child. There can be nothing more important than the happiness of your child.

4. Seek help from a skilled attorney who has experience with parental alienation.

5. Familiarize yourself with how the courts work and the laws as they apply to your specific case.
6. Seek professional help and diagnosis.

7. Request a social study into the circumstances of the child.

8. Request a psychological evaluation of the alienating parent.

9. Keep a chronology or diary of events (this will help to jog your memory, keep track of witnesses, etc.).

10. Document the alienation for submission as evidence in court.

11. Keep the best interest of the child at heart.

12. Provide the Court with an appropriate parenting plan.

13. Make sure you understand the nature of the problem and focus on correcting it, even though you are being victimized.

14. Always call and show up for visitation with your child at the scheduled time, even if there is no chance of the child being there.

15. Take witnesses to testify that the child is not at home when you exercise your visitation rights.

16. Focus on the child, and never talk to the child about the other parent or the divorce case.

17. Never violate the Court’s orders.

18. If you are receiving disturbing phone calls from the child or the other parent, tape the calls.

19. If you are receiving disturbing emails or text messages from the child or the other parent, make a copy and place in a file.

Though none of these tips will guarantee that you get custody of the child, they will definitely assist you in building a case against the parent who is attempting to alienate you from your child.

The Nacol Law Firm PC
Serving clients with divorce / parent alienation issues
in the Dallas / Fort Worth Metroplex area
Tel: 972-690-3333

Employment Law: An Employer’s Perspective

The best employment law defense counsel takes every aspect of a case into account, but most importantly the impact a lawsuit may have on the reputation and finances of the Company.

Employers must be aware of state and federal laws that govern employee hiring, compensation and treatment. Federal and State employment laws concerning wages and overtime are complex and impose significant responsibility on the employer.

Other things an employer should consider are:

• Anti-discrimination laws
• sexual discrimination
• age discrimination
• disability discrimination
• race discrimination
• Hiring practices (contracts)
• Compensation (wages, bonuses, paid leave, vacation pay, benefits, severance packages)
• Family and Medical Leave
• Termination
• Immigration matters
• Sexual harassment
• Intellectual property rights

Employers should also be cognizant of employees that are allowed access to intellectual property information created or developed for the Company by employees in the course of their employment.

There are a number of questions to be addressed by the Employer both at the time of hiring personnel and at regular intervals throughout the course of their employment, such as:

• The scope of the employees duties, and how those are to be documented
• Their level of seniority
• Whether their duties involve a requirement that they invent (or contribute to inventions)
• The employee’s propensity to invent
• The access which the employee has to the employer’s resources (both during and after
hours) for their own purposes
• Proprietary Information Agreements
• Non-competition Agreements, where indicated

On the basis of recent decisions of the Federal Court, only very brave employers are likely to decide that they do not require employment agreements with their senior employees or with those employees privy to confidential or proprietary information.

If you are an employer facing legal issues in any aspect of employment or intellectual property rights, consult Mark A. Nacol of The Nacol Law Firm for guidance.

The Nacol Law Firm PC
990 South Sherman Street
Richardson, Texas 75081
Tel: 972-690-3333

The Employment Agreement

Generally, Texas is an “at will” state which gives few rights to the employee that are not created by statute or governed by labor regulations.

The employment contract is one of the most important contracts used in business today. It is the employment contract that sets out the terms on which a company hires an individual or an individual hires a company. If properly prepared, the contract is a legally binding agreement.

Contract terms can come from a number of sources and can include the following:

• Verbal agreements
• Agreements in writing or document form
• Agreements required by law
• Implied – not written but understood to exist
• An offer letter
• An employee handbook
• A company notice board
• Collective agreements

Wrongful dismissal is a breach that violates statutes involving age, sexual preference, race discrimination, disability, other common law, the requirement of the commission of an illegal act by the employee or dismissal without being given proper notice or following the procedures as set out in the contract.

In order to change a contract, there must be an agreement between the parties. Under certain circumstances, the employer may need to make changes to the contract because of economic circumstances. Things that might change include:

• Rate of pay and/or commission terms and guidelines
• Work time
• Duties and responsibilities
• Work Location
• Correcting an error in the contract
• Disciplinary action – check disciplinary procedures to make sure this is done properly

Employees may ask for a change in a contract to:

• Improve their work environment
• Get a raise in pay
• Get more vacation or holiday time
• Change work hours

The Nacol Law Firm PC
990 South Sherman Street
Richardson, Texas 75081
Tel: 972-690-3333
Toll Free: 866-352-5240