Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Huffington Post: 7 Major Ways to Avoid a "Celerbrity Divorce"! Cohabitation & Domestic Partnership Agreements. http://dld.bz/7CBR http://amplify.com/u/jvdd
Are You Thinking about 2011 and Possible Divorce? Questions on Texas Divorce and Child Support? We May Have The Answers! http://dld.bz/3trY http://amplify.com/u/jv9l
My Wife & I were happy for 20 Years. Then We Met. -Henny Youngman Cohabitation & Domestic Partnership Agreements: Texas! http://dld.bz/7AJz http://amplify.com/u/jtxt
Are there Parental Alienation and False & Malicious Domestic Violence Allegations? Tis The Season! http://dld.bz/gtP6 http://amplify.com/u/jtjn
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tis the Season! Are there Parental Alienation and False & Malicious Domestic Violence Allegations Happening? http://dld.bz/gtP6 http://amplify.com/u/j5di
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Torn Apart: Children and Divorce
Despite the difficulties faced in a divorce, the children should not be placed in the center of the crossfire. During the divorce process, and sometimes following the divorce process, it is not uncommon for a parent to become so wrapped up in anger, vengeance or simply being “right” that they forget the effect the whole process is having on the children. Below are some behaviors to avoid and some suggestions to assist you with improving your communications during the divorce process:
1. Do not use children as messengers between “mom” and “dad.”
2. Do not criticize your former spouse in the presence of your children because children realize they are part “mom” and part “dad.”
3. Resist any temptation to allow your children to act as your caretaker. Children need to be allowed the freedom to be “children.” Taking on such responsibility at an early age degrades their self-esteem, feeds anger and hinders a child’s ability to relate to their peers.
4. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Promote a good relationship for the benefit of the child.
5. Do not argue with your former spouse in the presence of the children. No matter what the situation, the child will feel torn between taking “mommy’s” side and “daddy’s” side.
6. At every step during the divorce process, remind yourself that your children’s interests are paramount, even over your own.
7. If you are the non-primary parent, pay your child support.
8. If you are the primary parent and are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. This feeds a child’s sense of abandonment and erodes their stability.
9. Remember that the Court’s view child support and child custody as two separate and distinct issues. Children do not understand whether “mommy” and/or “daddy” paid child support, but they do understand that “mommy” and/or “daddy” wants to see me.
10. If at all possible, do not uproot your children. When a family is falling apart, a child needs a stable home and school life to buffer the trauma.
11. If you have an addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol or any other affliction, seek help immediately. Such impairments inhibit your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need.
12.If you are having difficulty dealing with issues relating to your former spouse, discuss such issues with mental health professionals and counselors.
13.Reassure your children that they are loved and that they have no fault in the divorce.
Though these steps are not all-inclusive, they will assist you in dealing with the complex issues of a divorce and hopefully minimize the impact of the divorce process on the children.
1. Do not use children as messengers between “mom” and “dad.”
2. Do not criticize your former spouse in the presence of your children because children realize they are part “mom” and part “dad.”
3. Resist any temptation to allow your children to act as your caretaker. Children need to be allowed the freedom to be “children.” Taking on such responsibility at an early age degrades their self-esteem, feeds anger and hinders a child’s ability to relate to their peers.
4. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Promote a good relationship for the benefit of the child.
5. Do not argue with your former spouse in the presence of the children. No matter what the situation, the child will feel torn between taking “mommy’s” side and “daddy’s” side.
6. At every step during the divorce process, remind yourself that your children’s interests are paramount, even over your own.
7. If you are the non-primary parent, pay your child support.
8. If you are the primary parent and are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. This feeds a child’s sense of abandonment and erodes their stability.
9. Remember that the Court’s view child support and child custody as two separate and distinct issues. Children do not understand whether “mommy” and/or “daddy” paid child support, but they do understand that “mommy” and/or “daddy” wants to see me.
10. If at all possible, do not uproot your children. When a family is falling apart, a child needs a stable home and school life to buffer the trauma.
11. If you have an addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol or any other affliction, seek help immediately. Such impairments inhibit your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need.
12.If you are having difficulty dealing with issues relating to your former spouse, discuss such issues with mental health professionals and counselors.
13.Reassure your children that they are loved and that they have no fault in the divorce.
Though these steps are not all-inclusive, they will assist you in dealing with the complex issues of a divorce and hopefully minimize the impact of the divorce process on the children.
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/j2s0
Monday, December 20, 2010
HuffingtonPost.com: David Goldman's new Book on his horrible Child Custody Battle! Fathers & Parent Alienation Syndrome http://dld.bz/bYmQ http://amplify.com/u/iz38
Friday, December 17, 2010
Huffingtonpost.com: What are the Most Annoying Post-Divorce Questions? How Does Divorce make you feel? http://dld.bz/kvQG http://amplify.com/u/io23
USmagazine.com: 2010 Cheating Scandals of The Year! Texas & Federal Confidentiality Laws: Use Caution with Your Divorce! http://dld.bz/aHbu http://amplify.com/u/io0l
STAY AT HOME DADS – A Shift in the Trend!
If you turn on the television you will see a Mother seeing Dad off to work and then tending to the children and baking some brownies for the upcoming bake sale. In actuality, such a lifestyle in America rarely reflects the real modern day family.
The number of stay-at-home dads has increased in popularity and occurrence over the years and is notably on the rise in Texas. Could a reversal of old traditional roles be on the increase in this recession? Women are less affected by layoffs and have a better legal posture due to Affirmative Action. Recent studies from the Pew Research Center found a third of all wives earn more than their husbands. Or, is it simply a honest and legitimate desire for some men who recently became fathers in the past decade to be the primary caregiver? Whatever the reason is, many men enjoy it, and many current studies are positively supporting this untraditional position.
Researchers and psychologists are finding a father’s role to be as or more influential than that of a mother in the first five years of the child’s development and that fathers play a key role in the “gender” role identification of their children. Some proclaim that having the dad as the primary caretaker properly prepares children for life lessons. Mothers reassure their small ones during a frustrating situation, while fathers encourage their little ones to manage the situation. Statistics have shown that children are smarter with a stay-at-home dad and are less likely to focus on gender issues, such as a “No Boys Allowed” sign outside their bedroom door. A father’s guidance can promote a greater level of curiosity, greater emotional balance, and a stronger sense of confidence. The Center for Successful Fathering in Austin, Texas cites that fathers who are an active participant in parenting produce children who makes higher grades, have greater ambition, show fewer anxiety disorders, and enjoy a reduced risk of juvenile delinquency or teen pregnancy.
Mothers are getting a pretty good deal as well. They have the security in knowing that their babies are being looked after by a loved one. This relieves stress and worry that occurs while children are in day care. Apart from the safety and family treatment of their children, mothers know that a strong bond is forming between their little one and dad. Fathers who work outside the home sometimes have a difficult time connecting with their babies, but that doesn’t appear to hold true for mothers. Mothers can build bonds despite working outside of the home and not spending as much time with their children. No one can be 100% sure why this holds true, it just appears to be the case. Mothers can also find comfort in knowing that the fathers will instill values. Its one thing knowing your child is being molded by someone else’s values; it’s quite another knowing you are paying top dollar for it. Fortune Magazine reported that over a third of its “50 Most Powerful Women in Business” had a stay-at-home spouse.
As far as social integration, stay-at-home dads may have an advantage. For example, at school the “alpha” mom doesn’t feel threaten by a dad taking a leading role in the PTA, nor does a dad feel like he has to compete with the “alpha” mom. People are more likely to cater to a father when he walks into a store with his children, whereas if the mom walks in with kids she often receives a look like: Please don’t let her children break anything.
What are the disadvantages of dad staying at home? A father who chooses to stay home and not work may suffer from the employment gap. Future potential employers may think they have lost or reduced their business skills and expertise when trying to reenter the work field. Alternatively, not all dads who stay home choose not to work. The numbers of stay-at-home dads consist of not only fathers who do not work, but also fathers who work part time or work from their homes. Another disadvantage may be that the arrangement is simply not financially workable, so the family may struggle with implementing their decision.
The mom stays at home trend has shifted and the growing idea of Stay-At-Home Dads is becoming an accepted reality in today’s world. In the next five years, you may turn on the television and see dad seeing mom off to work and then tending to the children, and possibly even baking some brownies for the upcoming bake sale.
Stay-at- home dads are still fighting old myths and prejudices, but make no mistake: kids are in very good hands with dad.
The number of stay-at-home dads has increased in popularity and occurrence over the years and is notably on the rise in Texas. Could a reversal of old traditional roles be on the increase in this recession? Women are less affected by layoffs and have a better legal posture due to Affirmative Action. Recent studies from the Pew Research Center found a third of all wives earn more than their husbands. Or, is it simply a honest and legitimate desire for some men who recently became fathers in the past decade to be the primary caregiver? Whatever the reason is, many men enjoy it, and many current studies are positively supporting this untraditional position.
Researchers and psychologists are finding a father’s role to be as or more influential than that of a mother in the first five years of the child’s development and that fathers play a key role in the “gender” role identification of their children. Some proclaim that having the dad as the primary caretaker properly prepares children for life lessons. Mothers reassure their small ones during a frustrating situation, while fathers encourage their little ones to manage the situation. Statistics have shown that children are smarter with a stay-at-home dad and are less likely to focus on gender issues, such as a “No Boys Allowed” sign outside their bedroom door. A father’s guidance can promote a greater level of curiosity, greater emotional balance, and a stronger sense of confidence. The Center for Successful Fathering in Austin, Texas cites that fathers who are an active participant in parenting produce children who makes higher grades, have greater ambition, show fewer anxiety disorders, and enjoy a reduced risk of juvenile delinquency or teen pregnancy.
Mothers are getting a pretty good deal as well. They have the security in knowing that their babies are being looked after by a loved one. This relieves stress and worry that occurs while children are in day care. Apart from the safety and family treatment of their children, mothers know that a strong bond is forming between their little one and dad. Fathers who work outside the home sometimes have a difficult time connecting with their babies, but that doesn’t appear to hold true for mothers. Mothers can build bonds despite working outside of the home and not spending as much time with their children. No one can be 100% sure why this holds true, it just appears to be the case. Mothers can also find comfort in knowing that the fathers will instill values. Its one thing knowing your child is being molded by someone else’s values; it’s quite another knowing you are paying top dollar for it. Fortune Magazine reported that over a third of its “50 Most Powerful Women in Business” had a stay-at-home spouse.
As far as social integration, stay-at-home dads may have an advantage. For example, at school the “alpha” mom doesn’t feel threaten by a dad taking a leading role in the PTA, nor does a dad feel like he has to compete with the “alpha” mom. People are more likely to cater to a father when he walks into a store with his children, whereas if the mom walks in with kids she often receives a look like: Please don’t let her children break anything.
What are the disadvantages of dad staying at home? A father who chooses to stay home and not work may suffer from the employment gap. Future potential employers may think they have lost or reduced their business skills and expertise when trying to reenter the work field. Alternatively, not all dads who stay home choose not to work. The numbers of stay-at-home dads consist of not only fathers who do not work, but also fathers who work part time or work from their homes. Another disadvantage may be that the arrangement is simply not financially workable, so the family may struggle with implementing their decision.
The mom stays at home trend has shifted and the growing idea of Stay-At-Home Dads is becoming an accepted reality in today’s world. In the next five years, you may turn on the television and see dad seeing mom off to work and then tending to the children, and possibly even baking some brownies for the upcoming bake sale.
Stay-at- home dads are still fighting old myths and prejudices, but make no mistake: kids are in very good hands with dad.
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/inyd
Thursday, December 16, 2010
CNNMoney.com: Record plunge in foreclosures, thanks to robo-signers! BY ALL MEANS STOP THE FORECLOSURE! http://dld.bz/avJv http://amplify.com/u/ikii
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Father’s Rights: Visitation Enforcement
What is needed for visitation enforcement?
1.A valid court order that has been signed by a judge or issued by the district clerk’s office, certified as having been signed by a judge.
2.Be sure to read your order thoroughly. If you do not understand any of the provisions, take it to an attorney and have them explain it to you.
3.The custodial parent must have been validly served with the court order or it must be shown that the they had prior knowledge of the court order and its content.
4.The custodial parent must have full knowledge of the above two factors and must be intentionally and willfully violating the court order.
Despite the fact that you may have a valid court order, many police departments do not want to get involved in enforcing civil orders. If you call the police department and show them the order they may or may not assist you in gaining access to your children. Despite whether you get your children or not, you need to ask them to create a police report stating that you were there to pick up your children and noting the time and date you were present. If the police refuse to prepare a report, go to a local grocery store or fast food restaurant and purchase something so that you have a receipt stating that you were in the area and stating the date and time you were there.
How to prove a denial of visitation.
Take a witness along with you – preferably an off-duty constable or deputy or neutral party. Have your witness stay in the vehicle, but with the window down so that he/she can hear any conversations that take place. Have your vehicle parked in such a way that the witness can see you at all times.
Take a copy of your divorce decree along with you which shows you are suppose to have possession of your children on the date and time you arrive to pick them up.
Always be on time, and if possible a few minutes early.
If the custodial parent does not answer the door or have the child available to exercise visitation then call the police and request a Police Incident Report. If the police will not issue a police report then make sure you document the incident as best as possible. After two or three violations, take the reports, along with any witness statements, to an attorney to discuss how to bring an enforcement action against the custodial parent who is violating the order.
Take a tape recorder with you, have it running from the time you approach the residence, and do not stop it until you leave. Keep the tape recorder running as you leave the area.
As you approach the residence state the following facts in the recorder: your complete name, the address you are approaching, the reason you are there “I am going to pick up my children as stated in the final decree,” state who is with you and why, state the time of day, state when you are leaving and a brief description of what occurred. Keep a written record of each recording and label them according to date.
Keep a calendar of each denied visitation.
Make sure you have a credible witness each time you try to exercise your possession with your children.
Do not argue with your exhibit-spouse regardless of how angry you are or whether you get your children or not. Staying calm will work in your favor in the long run.
If you file an enforcement action, if the custodial parent continues to deny you visitation after the suit is brought, continue to go and knock on the door to exercise your visitation, as each separate violation of the court order can be used in the enforcement action.
1.A valid court order that has been signed by a judge or issued by the district clerk’s office, certified as having been signed by a judge.
2.Be sure to read your order thoroughly. If you do not understand any of the provisions, take it to an attorney and have them explain it to you.
3.The custodial parent must have been validly served with the court order or it must be shown that the they had prior knowledge of the court order and its content.
4.The custodial parent must have full knowledge of the above two factors and must be intentionally and willfully violating the court order.
Despite the fact that you may have a valid court order, many police departments do not want to get involved in enforcing civil orders. If you call the police department and show them the order they may or may not assist you in gaining access to your children. Despite whether you get your children or not, you need to ask them to create a police report stating that you were there to pick up your children and noting the time and date you were present. If the police refuse to prepare a report, go to a local grocery store or fast food restaurant and purchase something so that you have a receipt stating that you were in the area and stating the date and time you were there.
How to prove a denial of visitation.
Take a witness along with you – preferably an off-duty constable or deputy or neutral party. Have your witness stay in the vehicle, but with the window down so that he/she can hear any conversations that take place. Have your vehicle parked in such a way that the witness can see you at all times.
Take a copy of your divorce decree along with you which shows you are suppose to have possession of your children on the date and time you arrive to pick them up.
Always be on time, and if possible a few minutes early.
If the custodial parent does not answer the door or have the child available to exercise visitation then call the police and request a Police Incident Report. If the police will not issue a police report then make sure you document the incident as best as possible. After two or three violations, take the reports, along with any witness statements, to an attorney to discuss how to bring an enforcement action against the custodial parent who is violating the order.
Take a tape recorder with you, have it running from the time you approach the residence, and do not stop it until you leave. Keep the tape recorder running as you leave the area.
As you approach the residence state the following facts in the recorder: your complete name, the address you are approaching, the reason you are there “I am going to pick up my children as stated in the final decree,” state who is with you and why, state the time of day, state when you are leaving and a brief description of what occurred. Keep a written record of each recording and label them according to date.
Keep a calendar of each denied visitation.
Make sure you have a credible witness each time you try to exercise your possession with your children.
Do not argue with your exhibit-spouse regardless of how angry you are or whether you get your children or not. Staying calm will work in your favor in the long run.
If you file an enforcement action, if the custodial parent continues to deny you visitation after the suit is brought, continue to go and knock on the door to exercise your visitation, as each separate violation of the court order can be used in the enforcement action.
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/iguy
Monday, December 13, 2010
I Need A Father – (A Fathers Role in Child Custody)
The number of fathers caring for their children is growing at a rate almost twice that of single mothers. The bottom line is more men are choosing to be hands-on fathers. In addition, presumed joint custody — or shared custody by both parents of children of divorce — is now the law of the land in most states.
Scores of research have documented the positive effects of a father’s involvement in a child’s life. Regrettably, currently approximately 30% of American children live without their father’s involvement in their life.
As the number of women in the work force has increased, some men appear to have become more involved in fatherhood and show greater interest in child-care responsibilities. With more women in the workplace than ever before — 68% of women with children under 18 — divorce courts in most states are not simply awarding custody and care of children to mothers by default. In some cases, the mother has neither the time, nor the will, to care full time for her offspring. In other cases, she may not have the financial means. The gradual progress towards leveling the playing field for women at work has resulted in slowly leveling the playing field at home. The law is beginning to catch up as well. Divorce laws of more and more states are taking into account the importance of children maintaining relationships with dads as well as moms after divorce.
Following is a sample of what other sources have had to say about the risks faced by fatherless children:
•63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
•85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)
•80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)
•71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
•70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
•85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)
After economic factors are excluded, children reared in fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to become male adolescent delinquents or teen mothers.
Recent studies have suggested that children whose fathers are actively involved with them from birth are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident in exploring their surroundings, have better social connections with peers as they grow older, are less likely to get in trouble at home and at school, and are less likely to use drugs and alcohol. Children with fathers who are nurturing, involved, and playful also turn out to have higher IQs and better linguistic and cognitive capacities.
The divorce process is difficult for all involved. It is far better for the children if the parents are able and willing to place them outside of difficult divorce issues. Children want to run and laugh and play. In many cases they are not mature enough to process adult issues. Keep heated issues between the adults and away from hearing range of the children. No matter how angry a parent is, they should promote the children viewing the other parent in a positive light. Children need positive role models. Even if a parent feels the other parent has wronged them, it is just as wrong for that parent to take away the ability for their children to have a parent they can be proud of and look up to.
Scores of research have documented the positive effects of a father’s involvement in a child’s life. Regrettably, currently approximately 30% of American children live without their father’s involvement in their life.
As the number of women in the work force has increased, some men appear to have become more involved in fatherhood and show greater interest in child-care responsibilities. With more women in the workplace than ever before — 68% of women with children under 18 — divorce courts in most states are not simply awarding custody and care of children to mothers by default. In some cases, the mother has neither the time, nor the will, to care full time for her offspring. In other cases, she may not have the financial means. The gradual progress towards leveling the playing field for women at work has resulted in slowly leveling the playing field at home. The law is beginning to catch up as well. Divorce laws of more and more states are taking into account the importance of children maintaining relationships with dads as well as moms after divorce.
Following is a sample of what other sources have had to say about the risks faced by fatherless children:
•63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
•85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)
•80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)
•71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)
•70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
•85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)
After economic factors are excluded, children reared in fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to become male adolescent delinquents or teen mothers.
Recent studies have suggested that children whose fathers are actively involved with them from birth are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident in exploring their surroundings, have better social connections with peers as they grow older, are less likely to get in trouble at home and at school, and are less likely to use drugs and alcohol. Children with fathers who are nurturing, involved, and playful also turn out to have higher IQs and better linguistic and cognitive capacities.
The divorce process is difficult for all involved. It is far better for the children if the parents are able and willing to place them outside of difficult divorce issues. Children want to run and laugh and play. In many cases they are not mature enough to process adult issues. Keep heated issues between the adults and away from hearing range of the children. No matter how angry a parent is, they should promote the children viewing the other parent in a positive light. Children need positive role models. Even if a parent feels the other parent has wronged them, it is just as wrong for that parent to take away the ability for their children to have a parent they can be proud of and look up to.
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/ibli
DallasMorningnews: Dallas Billionaire Andy Beal's Messy Divorce! Texas & Federal Confidentiality Laws: Divorce Caution! http://dld.bz/aHbu http://amplify.com/u/ib5n
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Step-parent Conflict: Put the Kids First
Step-parent Conflict: Put the Kids First
Thirty seven percent of families in the United States are blended families. Sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce. A biological parent has his hands full, but as most step-parents will tell you, their job is even more complicated.
Following a divorce, it is not uncommon for a new step-parent to become the target of unprovoked spite or anger. In many cases, the previous-spouse harbors unfounded fears that their child will look to a new step-parent as a mother or father replacement figure. This can engender resentment to what may already be an uncomfortable situation between parties. Regretfully, these issues often escalate very quickly. Such resentments place the children squarely in the middle of a bitter fight between the people they love the most and are not healthy for anyone involved. The pain of conflicting loyalties to each parent and a child’s feeling of being “caught in the middle” of such disputes exacts an enormous emotional toll on a child. When a parent is in a rage, it is not uncommon for a child to withdraw. The child’s behavior towards the non-primary parent may abruptly change. This change in behavior may have more to do with keeping the primary parent happy than it does with how they really feel about the non-primary parent or step-parent. It is essential that you make it clear to your child that you love them and will always be there for them, regardless of the emotional or less than rosy current circumstances.
It is crucial to a child’s self-esteem and emotional growth that parents avoid putting children in the middle of such disputes. This can be incredibly difficult, however, when a selfish or manipulative parent does not think twice about wrongfully placing his or her child in the middle of conflict. Children are very perceptive and as they grow older they will ultimately realize when a parent has lied to them and used them for their own emotional or financial gain. Though they may temporarily identify with the aggressors, in time they will deeply resent the parent who has manipulated them.
Regardless of the circumstances, it is critical that biological parents avoid arguments or conflicts in the presence of the children. Such conduct is conducive to parental alienation goals of the misguided previous spouse. If the child sees that you maintain a calm and collected demeanor, it gives them reason to pause and feel safe.
If a previous spouse is making statements to the child regarding issues that should only be discussed between adults, tell the child that such discussions are inappropriate and you will take them up with the other parent at another time.
It is ok to tell your child “I am sorry,” if they are upset, even if you are not the parent upsetting them. This validates that they are hurting and relieves any false guilt they may have over things that are being said and done when you are not present. It is sometimes helpful to use everyday situations to explain conflict to your child. As an example, when dealing with conflict explain that “brothers and sisters fight, but they still love each other. Families have to work through conflict in order to stay together. I would not leave you if you made a mistake, I would not want you to leave me.” Such statements reinforces that reasonable conflict is ok and assures the child that you will remain a constant force in their life regardless of the situation.
If you feel that the conflict has escalated to a point of becoming emotionally abusive and/or destructive to the child, consult an attorney. It may be in the best interest of the child that he or she be removed from the primary parent and placed with the non-primary parent so that he or she is allowed to love all parental figures, parents and step-parents alike, unconditionally
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/i1cx
Monday, December 6, 2010
HuffingtonPost: TAKE OUT A LOAN? Divorce Investment Firms Fund Cases For A Cut! Divorce Wars/Legal Strategies & Myths! http://dld.bz/e7Ta http://amplify.com/u/hr78
Huffingtonpost: Growing 'Marriage Gap' In The State of Our Unions! Think Cohabitation & Domestic Partnership Agreements! http://dld.bz/7CBR http://amplify.com/u/hr69
Friday, December 3, 2010
Huffinton Post: TV's Law & Order Tackles PARENTAL ALIENATION! Fathers & Parent Alienation Syndrome. What is it? http://dld.bz/bYmQ http://amplify.com/u/hd95
Torn Apart: Children and Divorce
Despite the difficulties faced in a divorce, the children should not be placed in the center of the crossfire. During the divorce process, and sometimes following the divorce process, it is not uncommon for a parent to become so wrapped up in anger, vengeance or simply being “right” that they forget the effect the whole process is having on the children. Below are some behaviors to avoid and some suggestions to assist you with improving your communications during the divorce process:
1.Do not use children as messengers between “mom” and “dad.”
2.Do not criticize your former spouse in the presence of your children because children realize they are part “mom” and part “dad.”
3.Resist any temptation to allow your children to act as your caretaker. Children need to be allowed the freedom to be “children.” Taking on such responsibility at an early age degrades their self-esteem, feeds anger and hinders a child’s ability to relate to their peers.
4.Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Promote a good relationship for the benefit of the child.
5.Do not argue with your former spouse in the presence of the children. No matter what the situation, the child will feel torn between taking “mommy’s” side and “daddy’s” side.
6. At every step during the divorce process, remind yourself that your children’s interests are paramount, even over your own.
7. If you are the non-primary parent, pay your child support.
8. If you are the primary parent and are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. This feeds a child’s sense of abandonment and erodes their stability.
9. Remember that the Court’s view child support and child custody as two separate and distinct issues. Children do not understand whether “mommy” and/or “daddy” paid child support, but they do understand that “mommy” and/or “daddy” wants to see me.
10.If at all possible, do not uproot your children. When a family is falling apart, a child needs a stable home and school life to buffer the trauma.
11.If you have an addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol or any other affliction, seek help immediately. Such impairments inhibit your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need.
12.If you are having difficulty dealing with issues relating to your former spouse, discuss such issues with mental health professionals and counselors.
13.Reassure your children that they are loved and that they have no fault in the divorce.
Though these steps are not all-inclusive, they will assist you in dealing with the complex issues of a divorce and hopefully minimize the impact of the divorce process on the children.
1.Do not use children as messengers between “mom” and “dad.”
2.Do not criticize your former spouse in the presence of your children because children realize they are part “mom” and part “dad.”
3.Resist any temptation to allow your children to act as your caretaker. Children need to be allowed the freedom to be “children.” Taking on such responsibility at an early age degrades their self-esteem, feeds anger and hinders a child’s ability to relate to their peers.
4.Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Promote a good relationship for the benefit of the child.
5.Do not argue with your former spouse in the presence of the children. No matter what the situation, the child will feel torn between taking “mommy’s” side and “daddy’s” side.
6. At every step during the divorce process, remind yourself that your children’s interests are paramount, even over your own.
7. If you are the non-primary parent, pay your child support.
8. If you are the primary parent and are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. This feeds a child’s sense of abandonment and erodes their stability.
9. Remember that the Court’s view child support and child custody as two separate and distinct issues. Children do not understand whether “mommy” and/or “daddy” paid child support, but they do understand that “mommy” and/or “daddy” wants to see me.
10.If at all possible, do not uproot your children. When a family is falling apart, a child needs a stable home and school life to buffer the trauma.
11.If you have an addiction problem, whether it be drugs, alcohol or any other affliction, seek help immediately. Such impairments inhibit your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need.
12.If you are having difficulty dealing with issues relating to your former spouse, discuss such issues with mental health professionals and counselors.
13.Reassure your children that they are loved and that they have no fault in the divorce.
Though these steps are not all-inclusive, they will assist you in dealing with the complex issues of a divorce and hopefully minimize the impact of the divorce process on the children.
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Wednesday, December 1, 2010
HuffingtonPost: MIDLIFE MADNESS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING? Baby Boomers and Divorce! http://dld.bz/g3xp http://amplify.com/u/h3ah
CNNMoney.com: What Are 5 Business Killers? What about Sealing the Deal with Business Contracts? http://dld.bz/8P93 http://amplify.com/u/h2mt
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